By Elton Lugay
I recently watched the video interview of Toni Gonzaga with stylists Renee Salud and Ricky Reyes, where they discussed same-sex marriage in the Philippines. I want to share my thoughts on this important issue with kindness, respect, and a broader perspective.
First, it’s important to acknowledge that both fashion designer Salud and hairstylist Reyes are highly respected leaders in the LGBT community in the Philippines. Their decades of entrepreneurship and visibility have paved the way for many, and their opinions are shaped by their unique experiences.
During the interview that has gone viral, both expressed their disapproval of legalizing same-sex marriage in the Philippines. Reyes, who is in a long-term relationship, stated that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. “emphasizing, “marriage is just for a man and a woman,” as he cautioned against “interfering with God’s work.”
Salud echoed him, saying that while he supports rights and space for LGBTQ people, he believes pursuing same-sex marriage is “too much,” and that some in the community are “too entitled” for seeking it.
Their remarks have sparked widespread discussion – for and against — as many in the LGBTQ community feel their views do not represent the aspirations of most LGBTQ Filipinos. It’s healthy to have these conversations without resorting to personal attacks.
Boy Abunda, known as the “King of Talk” in the Philippines, has been a vocal supporter of legalizing same-sex marriage. He has openly expressed his hope to one day legally marry his long-time partner, Bong Quintana, and has emphasized that same-sex couples in the Philippines deserve the same legal rights and protections as heterosexual couples.
Abunda once said, “Sana, dumating ang panahon na magkaroon ng same sex marriage. Takot na takot dito ‘yung ating mga legislators,” highlighting his hope that lawmakers will eventually support marriage equality.
He also underscored the practical importance of legal recognition, stating his desire to protect himself and his partner in matters such as inheritance and hospital rights – areas where same-sex couples are disadvantaged.
“Ayaw n’yong tawagin naming marriage, union, ibigay n’yo sa amin ang karapatan,” he remarked, stressing that, regardless of terminology, equal rights are what matter most.
Dr. Kevin Nadal, a prominent Filipino American Distinguished Professor and Queer Studies scholar, is a strong advocate for marriage equality and the broader liberation of LGBTQ+ communities—especially queer and trans people of color (QTPOC).
Nadal has described marriage equality as a fundamental constitutional right, saying, “Everyone should have the right to marry the person they love, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.” He views his own marriage as both an act of political resistance and a celebration of queer joy within his and his husband’s Filipino and Hawaiian families.
Beyond marriage, Nadal emphasizes that true liberation must include trans rights, gender justice, and racial equity. He advocates for equal opportunities for all LGBTQ+ people—including the right to marry, raise children, access gender-affirming care, and live free from violence and discrimination.
Those who oppose same-sex marriage, as well as those who advocate for it, are both entitled to their opinions. What’s crucial is that we continue to engage in respectful dialogue.
In the U.S., same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide on June 26, 2015, through the landmark Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. This ruling declared that fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples under the Constitution. Since then, over a million same-sex American couples have committed themselves to one another and public support for marriage equality continues to grow and divide society at the same time.
As former President Barack Obama said after the ruling, “When all Americans are treated as equal, we are all more free.” This sentiment captures the heart of the movement for marriage equality. It’s not about asking for special privileges, but for the same rights and dignity that everyone deserves.
While I have deep respect for Reyes and Salud (whom I call Mama Renee, having interviewed him a while back), I humbly disagree with them. I believe that LGBTQ people who wish to marry someone of the same sex should be allowed to do so, and that those advocating for legalization deserve support.
The push for same-sex marriage is not about asking for “too much.” It is about equality and dignity. As Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official in California, once said, “Hope will never be silent.” The fight for marriage equality is ultimately a fight for hope, acceptance, and the recognition of our shared humanity.
I am saddened that Mama Renee and Ricky hold such archaic views, but they’re entitled to their opinions although it seems they have not appreciated fully the dignity and importance same-sex marriage grants to gay individuals.
I hope we can all engage in this issue with positivity and humility, even as we strive for acceptance and equality for all. Let’s continue the conversation with open minds and open hearts.
