By Sheilah Jane
I grew up poor, in the shadows of Martial Law in the Philippines. I was born and raised in Ifugao in the Cordillera Mountains navigating hardship and uncertainty long before I moved to America.
I came to America 1998, 28 and pregnant with my third child. Here, I straddled two worlds—one shaped by the traditions and expectations of my Filipino roots, and another by the restless search for belonging. Like many in the diaspora, I learned to make myself small, to tuck away the pain of family secrets and personal wounds, and to present a polished, smiling face to the world.
But silence has a way of growing heavy. It presses down until something inside insists on breaking free. For me, that breaking point came after years of carrying stories too painful to voice.
Fifteen years ago, after I went back home to bury my father was the first time I felt I needed to write my story. I was mostly writing it in my mind. I made a few attempts to write them, but then discarded what I wrote. I realized that if I didn’t give them shape, they would continue to shape me in ways I could not control. Writing became both my lifeline and my act of resistance.
My memoir, “Shadows and Sunrises,” tells that journey—from surviving trauma to finding hope, from living in the shadows to daring to seek the sunrise. It is deeply personal, yet it echoes the experiences of many Filipinos who have navigated silence, resilience, and the long road to healing.
This book is not just about my past. It is about reclaiming my voice, honoring where I come from, and creating a space of solidarity for those who may feel unseen in their own struggles.
By sharing my story, I hope to remind others—especially fellow Filipino Americans—that we are not alone, and that healing is possible. Our stories matter. They carry the power to heal us and to connect us across oceans, generations, and identities.
In the end, writing “Shadows and Sunrises” was less about publishing a book and more about setting myself free. My deepest hope is that, in reading it, others will feel a little freer too.
